Gay magnet part deux

I was at a launch for this - Tessa Codrington's book of photographs of Tangier put out by Arcadia. The launch was at Christie's and it was all very North African - large photos of the book's images lined the gallery walls, the canapes were chicken tangine and hummus. I half expected to see Paul Bowles smoking hash in a corner.

I met GP, our evening's host, as I came in. He was talking to an Uncle Monty type (Withnail & I Uncle Monty, not Lemony Snickett), an older well-fed gent, tweedily dressed, carefully arranged thinning white hair barely covering his head, his round face blotchy with eczema. GP, Uncle Monty and I chatted for a bit, until we were interrupted by D, GP's assistant. GP had to go and schmooze with the author.

'Perfectly ghastly,' Uncle Monty said, as GP and D dove into the scrum of the party.

'I'm sorry?' I said.

'How she interrupted. Perfectly ghastly. Women are good for nothing.' Before I could respond he grabbed my hand - grabbed my hand. 'Come, let us look at the photographs. They are exquisite.'

'I guess they are good at taking photographs, then,' I said as he led me away.

He didn't seem to hear. We went around the gallery looking at the photographs of Tangier street scenes, the beach, and yes, Paul and Jane Bowles in their flat taken from the 70s. As he led me along I was trying to think of a way to get my hand back without being rude. He was still clutching it, squeezing it ever so slightly. He asked me if I had ever been to Tangier, I said no.

'I have been many a time' he said. 'Very permissive there.'

He squeezed my hand a bit tighter. It was just then that the 'perfect ghastly' D came over and asked me to go and talk to the author. D, incidentally, is lovely, smart and always smells of jasmine. I thanked her as we stole away, leaving a poor Uncle Monty on his own.

I guess I am not necessarily a gay magnet - just one for older, repulsive fellows. It does give me pause - why don't good looking gay guys hit on me? I work near SoHo. Surely my rough-hewn masculinity and fresh-faced good looks should go down a storm.