Resolutionary road

As January draws to a close, thought I would update the progress of my New Year's Resolutions:

1. Finish the novel. Well, I am scribbling away, though have retrenched and changed focus and rather than being 3/4 the way there, am now probably half way there, which seems like some sort of Zeno's Paradox of novel writing. And I have also bashed out a few short stories lately for which I am currently awaiting rejection letters from top-flight literary magazines. So I'm relatively happy, though this resolution has been my top priority for the last three years.

2. Get my 'McSweeney's for the UK, but warmer and with a little less nudge, nudge, wink, wink knowing irony' thing off the ground. Slightly hamstrung, at least by my lack of design skills and that my friend the web designer for some reason is taking paying gigs rather than working for the love of literature. Content rolling in, though, and it looks on course for a 2009 launch. Any Expat File fans wishing to contribute are free to send me ideas.

3. Washboard abs. Yes, this is rather vain; a friend rolled her eyes when I told her this resolution saying 'Well, that's worthwhile.' But there is some vanity to doing a blog, isn't there? Anyway, I do go to the gym frequently and have largely been eating well - even an Actimel of a morning which apparently keeps Sir Bobby Charlton full of jizz. So I am in reasonable shape. But washboard abs need that little extra bit of sacrifice, and will probably require me stopping boozing and refraining from the occasional cod and chips at The Frying Fisherman on Camberwell Church Street, both of which may not happen.

4. Learn the guitar properly. There my guitar sits as I write this, in the corner of the room, dusty and untouched. I did however, download an application to my iPhone that is a guitar tuner and has lists of chords. Next month!

5. Get back into German. Ach, mensch, Ich bin so faul gewesen. Im nächsten Monat!

5. More do-gooding. Though I am still doing my tireless Amnesty work, I have not contacted Shelter, Oxfam or any of the vast number of organisations that I was planning on volunteering for. Next month!

All and all, not too bad. Writing on schedule, literary project coming on, body fascist vanity project OK. Personal development and helping out my fellow man, not so much.