Fitba

The worst of the English comes out on the football pitch. Actually the very worst comes out in the football stands for the national team where hordes of fat-bellied men can shout xenophobic, racist and misogynistic rants at full belt.

Yesterday, I was at The Organ's annual five a side tournament, and had to deal with the worst of the English. Our side (Mr Schmooze, The Haymaker, Stoner, SiCo, and Hannah's Steve) took the competition in the right spirit; a nice kickaround, if we won a few games, grand. Of course, we are a bit shit, so maybe that explains the laissez-faire attitude.

But I really despaired at the majority of the people there, fighting for the the cup as if it was, well, the world friggin' cup. Yelling at the referees, getting into fights, getting sent off, watching other matches and yelling at opposing players. My half-assed theory is that in modern life we don't hunt or gather and thus have to channel aggression out on meaningless competition. Still that doesn't excuse you calling the referee of a five a side tourney a 'cunt' after you get sent off.